Well that is what happened last night folks. My sisters ex-boyfriend ("financier") yelled at or started drama with my sister which as we all know happens a lot and was one of the reason's that she left him in the first place but more on that in a minute. So of course me being the center of his universe has to start some drama about me or something I guess (sorry for being vauge but im not sure the whole reason for last night either...) but anyways it leads to my sister and I having words about "how shit is" and this is the scoop to try and bring you up to speed. Last year my sister and him split up because "i cant live with your brother....he makes me want to drink" (SCAPEGOAT) ok so he takes off, things are good between my sister and I we are having fun living life just getting back to how it use to be between us. Then she switches jobs and I try and tell her weeks before she put in her notice that its a bad idea, i had that feeling in the pit of my stomach and i just knew some shit was going to happen but she being the pig headed person that she is went ahead and quite her job of 8-9 years and starts working in a new job that was all but suited for her. Then the road there started getting bumpy and she ended up getting fired from there (..."no I quit before I could get fired....") and then became jobless for a little over 6 weeks. Enter the ex with the most $$ signs. So a man that she said "...will never come back into the house because once you leave this time you wont get a next time..." Its intresting how a person will go running back to a bad situation when they need money, but that is how the women in my mothers side of the family work, they need a man to support them. Well if my sister read this she would disagree because she can support herself....yet when she got fired instead of looking for a new job she just kissed ass and had him come back over and "help out" well this brings us to our story at hand. Last night I was hit with this "...he is paying for your bills too..." because the whole argument was about money and what have you. (actually i think it was about me going to the movies yesterday with my ex from high school and not saying anything to any one about my plans, but hey im 26 years old and dont think that i need to get permission to go somewhere.....Am I wrong?) to which i replied "I dont have any bills. The only bills that I had are no longer because they all got sent to the credit agency. And any other bills that I currently have Im taking care of on my own. He doesn't pay for shit of mine." to which she said "he pays for your rent and food..." MY RENT??? WHAT FUCKING RENT??? I dont pay rent nor was rent ever EVER EVER mentioned when I moved back in. I was told that if I watched her kid while she was at work and school that would be good enough because I would be saving her about $400 a month in child care. And I told her "even if I get another job its not going to change anything, shit is still going to be the same. I had a job last time before he left and I was still treated like shit, disrespected, and had to bite my toung. Im not going to do it anymore, when and if it goes back to being just me you and your kid then maybe i might help out a bit more, but that all depends on how shit is going at the time. Because I am only going to keep what ever other job i get until I make my trip to washington or indianana, which with the way things are going looks to be about september maybe october. And come September Im going back to school which will be taking up all of my free time that I currently have, because I will be watching your kid after school." Then the whole subject of his kid came up as to a possibility of why they got into a fight came into play. To which she said that I just need to stay away from him and that really set me off and i fired back with "how much more do you want me to stay away from him? I spend up to 22 fucking hours a day locked away in my room like a prisoner...only coming out every now and then for 'yard duty' you can fuck right the hell off with that shit, they can go home. Im tired of being chastised like some little kid when it comes to my saying anything to that fucking bastard, when Im suppose to be the person watching them and what have you. If you or him dont like the way i handle his son then find something else to do with the disrespectful son of a bitch." And just as she went to say something else the phone rang and i took it and went back to my room.
So boys and girls aren't we just amazed at how snow balls effect the whole eco-structure? How one hateful ass hole who has had some kind of vendetta out for me for 8 years or so just snow balls and creates new problems about old subjects. Its like a wound that just wont fucking heal because someone is always picking at it, making it bleed, and letting it get infected. Yeah its just fun. But through this whole ordeal I have had time to think about the future, do a little soul searching, and have learned a very good virtue Calmness and Waiting. I have very much become a spider. Waiting in my web, watching the world around me, spin and unfold, as I just sit there quietly in the dark waiting for my time to come out and play. Its hard sometimes but doable.
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