FUCK THE WORLD

I am living in a nightmare right now and am awake waiting to go to sleep. I am at my witts end right now and I dont know what to do about any of it. I think that my only option is to just say fuck it and become the dark evil cunty bastard that i use to be and live a life of "fuck you" and quite trying to be everything for everyone, and just focus on me my self and I and fuck who i hurt along the way. However I have tried to get away from being like that but you know what shit just happens and you really cant control everything not even your life. How can you live life with rules and dictations from people that you dont care about when you are supose to be the ruler of your own domain, life, and fate? People piss me off and I am about ready to fucking snap and its not going to be pretty. I see it unfolding all around me and its getting harder and harder to hold back. I am shaking really really bad right now because of how angery i am and its just getting worse. Im not going to hurt myself or others but i will verbally attack someone right now if they so much as sneeze. Where is my excape? where is my hope? Where is my power to change that which is causing my problems? Goddess help me though my hard times and to silently bare my cross without others knowing my burdens. Silence my voice so that I may not speak evil of others, cool my fire so that i may not rage.